Lighthearted and occasionally sarcastic sharing of my experiences with infertility, baby-raising after infertility and life after losing a parent.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Running on Empty
Some days, there is just nothing left in the tank...I'm definitely running on empty. I'm focused on the countdown. Two more days of radiation. Twelve more days (we believe) until Mom comes home. Twelve more days of commuting an hour each way, every day. Just twelve more days, and we can return to some semblance of normal.
Somehow, in the next twelve days, we have to move. Not only that, we have to combine households, arrange for equipment for Mom, set up a schedule for caretakers, continue to commute to the nursing home, and try and keep the appearance of normalcy in place for the children. No problem, right? I have not even begun to think about how to go about packing. I know that we do not need to pack and move everything in one day, but we will need to empty our house for the renovation and move all the big things in one day. Thankfully, we do have lots of help...an organizer who can take over the planning, and friends who have offered to come fill boxes. Now, I just have to get over my embarrassment about all the mess in the house, and we're all set!
Another relatively uneventful day...Mom was in great spirits today. She loves the days we do not have to transport to the hospital...the waiting is the worst. My day started with a 5:00 am phone call from Mom. She sure loves to call bright and early! The kids slept through it...but Micah had been awake on and off all night last night, so I got very little sleep. It is rare when he has a rough night...turns out, DH forgot to give him his reflux medication before bed.
Micah did not really get up and moving around until almost 10, so we had a very late start. While we were getting ready this morning, Micah decided he wanted to pee on the potty again. He joined me in the bathroom, he stripped down naked, sat on his little potty...and peed! Unfortunately, he peed right off the potty and all over the floor in front of him. I made a loud noise when I first realized he was going to pee off the potty, and it startled Micah a bit...he stopped for a moment, and I thought he was finished. But, when he realized I was not upset with him, he relaxed...and went back to soaking the bathroom floor. Like every good mother, I cheered for him because he sat on the potty and peed. He was so proud of himself...he clapped and said "Yay!" for himself, too. And then he pointed out that there was a mess on the floor, and gave me this look that seemed to say "Mom, hurry up and clean, would you?" I'm so excited that he is getting the hang of the potty...but cannot for the life of me figure out how to teach him to pee IN the potty. I mean, I understand the concept...we either need to teach him to "tuck in" or use the pee guard on the front of the child's potty. Unfortunately, Micah thinks the pee guard is a toy, and yanks it off every time he sits down on the potty. Maybe I can glue it in place? Although the last time we made an alteration to the potty (we removed the lid so he wouldn't pee with the lid down), he was not happy about the potty for a while. He just doesn't sit still long enough for me to teach him to "tuck in." So, for now, I guess we'll just have to stay out of the line of fire, right? If you have any good suggestions, feel free to send them along!
It was after 1:00 before I arrived at the nursing home with Maya, and my brother, SIL and the girls had already come and gone. When I arrived, my father and four of my mother's friends were all visiting my Mom. I was only there a few minutes before she had to leave for physical therapy (another surprise...we were told she had no therapy sessions this weekend). I waited with everyone while my Mom did her therapy, and when she returned, everyone else left. I stayed with Mom (and Krystal) for a few hours, and we talked. I showed Mom how to work her new audio book that Dad picked up from the public library, and we talked more about death and dying. I read her the blog and messages, and we spent time talking about happier subjects. Mom made several phone calls, attacked a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and then she looked exhausted. I left a little before 5 and headed home for the night.
I had a nice, but quiet, evening at home again. Maya has been a champ lately...she is loving her pacifier, taking bottles (okay, 3 times now), and she is getting so close to rolling from her back to her belly. Micah has been so cute and loving with her...he gives her kisses and hugs, and he seems to like her most of the time. I love watching him try to dress himself...today he put his dirty shirt from yesterday on...but on his legs. He has huge conversations with me...I just wish I knew what language he speaks. My mother used to swear that my brother spoke Czechoslovakian when he was a child...but I think Micah speaks some sort of alien language. DH would probably make a joke about him speaking Klingon (ever since we discovered Micah's skull issue last year, DH likes to compare him to Star Trek Klingons who apparently have a similar ridge on their forehead?).
Micah was not a happy camper today, though...he realized that DH had safety locked the silverware drawer, effectively stopping Micah from his nightly habit of emptying the drawer of all of its contents. He cried for quite some time when he discovered the drawer was locked. I should feel sympathy for him, right? I spent most of my time laughing because his irritation was so darn cute! He makes me laugh when he is angry.
I'm an attorney and policy consultant, and DH is a consultant to nonprofit organizations. We met at a Superbowl Party in 2005, got engaged the following year, and we were married in November 2006. We had a long and rocky road before finally welcoming our first baby, Micah, into this world on December 14, 2008.