Friday, October 8, 2010

G-d is Laughing

"Man plans and G-d laughs" seems to sum up my life these days. Today, I planned to take Micah to preschool, visit a house, go meet my mom at the hospital for radiation, come home no later than 6, and have my father help me out for the evening while DH attended a work meeting. As you can probably guess, my day did not go exactly as planned.

Maya woke up at 2:30 in the morning again last night...I wish I knew what was going on with her lately. After 6 weeks of reliably sleeping through the night, she has now woken up two times this week in the middle of the night. Perhaps she is in the middle of a growth spurt, but I really wish we could get more predictability. I'd like to get her to bed earlier each night and establish more of a routine, but I have a feeling she may take after me and prefer to stay up late.

After our brief 2:30 am hiccup, the kids slept until 8:15 this morning. Once again, we brought both of them into bed with us for a little while. I have to say, I'm starting to like the morning cuddle time...Micah and Maya are so cute together (Micah was actually holding her hand this morning), and I love having both of my babies close to me.

We came downstairs around 8:30 and got both children dressed and fed. Well, we gave Micah a bowl of cereal, and he ate some of it...but mostly spent his time crushing it. Around 9:15, I realized Megan had not yet arrived, and I noticed a text message from her telling us she was running an hour late. I could not seem to get everything together this morning, and Micah and I did not actually leave for preschool until almost 9:30.

Preschool went well today. Micah participated in the art project (decorating a kippah), and he was fairly well behaved. He enjoyed time on the playground, and he loved putting money in the tzedakah (charity) box. Today, the class celebrated Shabbat (a day early). We said the blessings, lit candles, drank grape juice, and ate challah. Micah's favorite part was cleaning up - he loves to take all of the paper cups and throw them in the garbage (I would have to say he gets that trait from me, NOT his father)!

After class, Micah and I came home just in time for a call from my father. He had been notified by the hospital that they were AGAIN running several hours behind. Luckily, we were able to delay my mother's transport so she could wait at the nursing home instead of at the hospital. My father told me not to come, but I disagreed. With all of the problems we've been having, I feel better being there and helping. And then my father delivered the bad news...he was canceling on me for tonight. All I could think was "crap" - how am I going to get home by 6, handle the 2 kids by myself all night, including give 2 baths and put them both to bed?

DH and I prepared to go visit a rental house. Unfortunately, Micah melted down when we left. It took us a bit longer to get out the door, and we ran a little late for our appointment. The house seems perfect for us...but the rental agent told us that it was unlikely she would rent to us because we do not want to rent long term. I'm hoping she'll change her mind. In the meantime, we'll keep looking.

As we were driving back, there was an accident on the highway...more delays. I drove DH back home (well, most of the way home - he decided to get out and walk the last few blocks to save me some time), then headed out to the nursing home. I spent most of the trip trying to figure out if I had any friends or family available who could come to the house for 30 minutes to watch Maya while I bathed Micah and put him to bed. Unfortunately, I kept striking out.

I was a bit distracted on the drive - I think out of habit, I started to drive to the hospital instead of the nursing home, so I went a tad out of my way. When I arrived at the nursing home, my mom was in bed and my father was reading the blog to her. I took over and finished, and I read her the messages, too. Mom seemed to be in good spirits, but she was having issues with her stomach again. When I asked what was happening, I learned that the therapy department had given orders that she could no longer be moved without a mechanical lift, and as such, they would no longer allow her to use the commode or the toilet. I was furious - we finally had my mom doing well, and they messed with everything again! I always feel like we take one step forward and two steps backwards...and if you do the math on that, it feels like we never make any progress.

I spent the next hour trying to talk to the nursing coordinator, the floor manager and the doctor about the problem. They gave us a song and dance about licensing issues (I'm not sure I believe that at all), but promised to work out a solution. Unfortunately, solutions are not immediate, and every minute they put this off is worse for my mother.

We got word that the hospital was even more delayed - apparently, their radiation machine kept breaking down today. They ended up canceling my mom's appointment for today, and said they would tack on the extra day to the back end of her therapy. That now takes us to October 26.

With all of our afternoon suddenly freed up, we decided to put Mom into her wheelchair and take a walk. We made it downstairs to a concert...which has to be one of the most painful things I've ever endured. It was a bunch of very elderly off-key performers singing songs by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans...and tap dancing. We did not stay there very long. We started to head out to the courtyard and wander around a bit, but my mother was not feeling well and insisted on going back to her room.

The rest of the afternoon was fairly quiet. My mother talked on the phone, we chatted a bit, and we waited to hear from the staff. Mom had a wonderful conversation with her cousin and she told Mom a bunch of stories about our family history. My mom was thrilled - she told her that we would come up to visit her and we'd bring a recorder to capture all of the stories. I hope that we are able to do that - we just need to get Mom a bit stronger first. Mom also had a lovely chat with a few other friends today, too. Despite her discomfort, Mom was in good spirits.

We had one heart-to-heart about the Mom keeps saying that she will miss us terribly when she is gone. We talked a bit about dying...she said she was worried that she would be somewhere alone and scared when she dies. We both agreed that neither one of us really knows what to think about what happens when we die. My mom said she thought maybe when we die, it is just the end of us, that there is nothing. I told her that I didn't know, but that if we continue on in some capacity, I believe it would have to be peaceful, not scary and lonely. I think there would be joy, and that if there is a way to be close to loved ones, I was sure she would be right there with us. After some more talking, I reminded my mom that she wasn't going anywhere yet.

We wrapped up the day on a positive note. My mom and I are planning to try a game of cards tomorrow and start working on our crocheting project. We finally got word back from the nurse coordinator that they might have a special sit-stand lift they can use with my mother to allow her back on the commode. Hopefully, we'll have everything ironed out again in the morning.

I left my mom at 4:45 so I could get home in time for DH to leave for his meeting. As has been my theme all day...I was delayed by another accident. I got home after 6:00, and DH ran out the door to his meeting. On my way home, I finally reached a friend of mine who was available to help me with the kids at bedtime...but it turned out that my father was able to leave my Mom at 6:00 and make it over to us in time to help with bedtime. That might have been the only thing that worked out today. I prepared him some dinner (well, does leftover pizza count?), and we watched a little tv together. He entertained Maya while I gave Micah a bath and put him to bed. Maya was pretty cranky - she cried most of the time I was upstairs with Micah - it is the primary reason I cannot handle bedtime with the two of them alone yet. Maya goes to bed after Micah, but Micah's bedtime is her fussy time. She needs to be held and cuddled or she becomes hysterical.

Once Micah was down, my father headed back home. Micah was awake and chatting for a while in his crib - I love spying on him on the video monitor. Maya nursed and fell asleep by 8:45. I put her in the swing to see if she would stay asleep, but she woke up again around 9:15. I nursed her again, and she fell back asleep. I let her sleep on me for a while before we moved her upstairs.

My father called to tell me he spoke with mom and that all seemed well tonight. I hope that the rest of her night is good, and that tomorrow, for once, the hospital is running on time. My father is due to come over around 9:30 tomorrow morning so we can go look at two more houses to rent. We are without a babysitter tomorrow, so we have to figure out how to juggle Micah for the day tomorrow. I'll be heading up to the hospital to spend time with my mother, and I hope to be home by 6:00 pm again. Let's hope G-d doesn't laugh at my plans again.

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