One Year Ago

Crap - I just hit post and the system glitched and lost my entire post. Crap!!

One year ago, I learned that I was pregnant with Maya. It was actually on a Sunday, and my parents had my nieces for the day. I planned to take Micah and meet my parents and the girls at the Orchard for the day at the Pumpkin Festival. I wasn't feeling great, and I wanted to take some medication, but decided to test first to make sure I wasn't pregnant.

DH and I had just started trying for baby #2. We had a hard time getting pregnant with Micah, so we expected it would be a long road to get pregnant with Maya. In fact, our plans included undergoing fertility treatments around the time my mom ended up getting hospitalized and diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, that morning, I grabbed a pregnancy test that was in one of the drawers (at least a year old), took it, put it on the bathroom counter and walked away. When I returned to the bathroom, I barely glanced at it as I threw it in the trash, but something caught my eye, and I fished it back out again. I thought I saw a line, but just wasn't sure. I asked DH, and he couldn't decide if he saw anything either. I was certain it was a mistake, but asked him to pick up another test while I was out.

All day long, I was thinking "what if." I carried Micah in the Ergo carrier, and we enjoyed ourselves. I remember Micah going crazy at the moon bounce - he was too young to go inside, but he was kicking like crazy as he saw his cousins jumping, and he wanted to hold on to the outside. My mom noticed that I was distracted, and I put her off by telling her I had a lot on my mind.

When I returned home that night, I took a second test. I sat there stunned as I looked at it. DH came into the bathroom, and asked me what it said. Without a word, I handed him the stick. He looked at me and asked, "I thought 2 lines meant pregnant?" I nodded, and DH still looked confused. "What does that mean?" "It means that at least for now, it appears I am pregnant." We were stunned - we didn't really know what to think. We were afraid to get too excited about things. We spent the next few weeks getting bloodwork and ultrasounds to confirm the viability of the pregnancy. Two days before Thanksgiving, we were actually told that I was miscarrying...it was not until December that we actually got word that everything was good with the pregnancy.

What a difference a year makes, huh? I'm now nursing that little miracle. Through all of this mess, I keep thinking that maybe Maya came so easily and quickly because she had to meet Mom. If DH and I hadn't decided to start trying again early, there is no way we would be going through fertility treatments right now, or even the foreseeable future. So, for anyone who asks about how close in age our children are, she is our little perfectly timed miracle, and I'm thankful for her every second of the day, and I know my Mom says over and over again how Delicious is the best part of her day, and she is thankful for every minute she gets to spend with her.

I don't have the bandwidth to retype our day, so here it is in a nutshell:

8:00 - Got Micah out of bed
8:30 - Got DH awake
8:45 - Nursed Maya
9:15 - Micah and DH went to preschool
9:15 - 11:00 - I cleaned for the cleaning lady, sorted through Maya's clothing to put away all the newborn sized clothes, and pulled out clothing for Micah and Maya from the hand-me-down boxes
12:30 - Drove to the hospital
1:40 - Mom and Dad arrived at hospital
2:00 - radiation finished (on time for once), but transport was very late.
3:15 - transport arrived and we left for nursing home
3:15-3:30 - I worked out details for mom's birthday party on Saturday with Mom's friend
3:30 - talked with nurse coordinator about the commode issue
3:30 - 5:00 - read mom emails, responded to notes, helped her set up for the night, helped her make phone calls
5:15 - helped mom with dinner
6:00 - left for home
7:00 - interviewed (and hired) caretaker with Dad
9:10 - Mom called (to say she made it through another night - they probably gave her the meds early, so I hope she doesn't have another headache tomorrow)
5:30 - finishing blogging and pumping
6:00 - Maya woke up and I lost blog due to a computer glitch - retyping one handed while I nurse her

Going to snuggle with my little miracle right now.