I think I used to be fun

As the title of this post says, I think I used to be a lot of fun. I really don't sleep, so I was always willing to spontaneously run out and go wherever, any hour of the day or night. Bored and want to play pool? Call Tess, she'll come meet you! Interested in staying out all night and dancing? Call Tess, she'll come along! Need to just chat on the phone about work/boyfriend/date/crazy night . . . call Tess, she'll pick up any time! Want to go for a walk at 3:30 because the weather is nice . . . call Tess, she never makes plans in advance and will almost always drop everything to get out of the house and procrastinate. Looking for company to get a massage or a manicure? You get the picture. Interested in going shopping . . . okay, that was never my bailiwick. For that, you should probably call my father.

I used to travel a lot - all over the world. I've been to over 35 states and more than 14 countries. I always had a trip planned or in the works. For our honeymoon, we went to Africa. I've been all over Europe, on cruises, and all around the Caribbean. I am a foodie, and I have eaten in some of the best restaurants around the country. I love going to the movies, seeing shows, going up to New York to catch Broadway shows, and attending concerts.

All of this is to say that I do not think I am fun or interesting anymore. Getting out is a challenge, I have no idea the next time I will be going on a non-work vacation, and the only thing I think when the phone rings after 8:00 pm is "I hope that doesn't wake Micah." When I hear about parties, I think it sounds like too much trouble. When I get a call to go on a walk, I think "do I have enough time to go before I have to feed Micah?"

I really miss being fun sometimes. I wouldn't trade a second of my time with Micah, but it does make me wonder if I will ever be fun again.