Last night, for date night, DH & I went to see Julie & Julia. It was a great movie - just a happy, feel good story. Naturally, it got me thinking...about life, desires, hopes. Julia Child was well into her 40s when she finally found her career and set out on her path. Blogging about cooking through Julia Child's book helped Julie find her way to being a writer when she turned 30. I suppose it has made me wonder if I have done all the things I want with my life? In both cases, it was their love of food that brought them to their paths.
I think the movie made me realize that it is never too late to complete those things on our "wish" list of life. My list has always been long, and it is likely that I do not have the desire to put my energy into completing EVERYTHING on that list. (For example, I am an attorney, but I always thought I'd make a marvelous doctor, too - I am fairly certain I will never go back to school to become a doctor. Or, at least not before I'm in my 60s or 70s).
I have so many different loves - I love to crochet and knit, I love to bake and to decorate cakes, I love food and cooking, and I love to write. My career has very little to do with any of these loves, and the movie made me ask whether I should be doing more to pursue those desires. Or, are they just hobbies?
I think part of me has always wanted to be a writer - it is probably why I love to blog. It gives me an excuse to ramble on and put down on paper some of the random thoughts that run through my head. I love to tell stories, but even more, I think I like to share (what I deem to be) keen proclamations and theories about life as they relate to my personal experiences. Some of my favorites include my bad Chinese food theory on relationships (you know, when you crave Chinese food, it is never a good idea to just grab bad Chinese food at the mall to attempt to satisfy that craving - because a taste of BAD Chinese food just sends you on a hunt for really GOOD Chinese food, and you'll order it 9 million times in a week until you find the PERFECT Chinese food to satisfy your craving. I always used to relate this to casual relationships - you know, they are like trying bad Chinese food to satisfy a craving - it will just make you obsessed with trying to find the good stuff, so you might as well hold out for the GOOD stuff and save the effort and waste), or my paper towel theory on men (back from my single days - I believed that most men, in terms of dating, are like paper towels - they really are only meant to be used once and tossed in the garbage, because if you try to reuse them, they just fall apart - they no longer clean and useful, they just are stained, holy, and raggedy. Some men may be like a good bounty or brawny - you can get 2 or 3 good uses out of them before they fall apart or show signs of wear and tear. If you are looking for something to last, however, you should find a dish towel - those are meant to weather years of cleaning, washing, and reusing. I used to tell my friends that their latest guys were just paper towels - time to throw them out. Based on that theory, we women should enjoy paper towel men - they do serve a purpose - and throw them away when they reach the end of their useful life. But we should marry dish towel men), or my theory that infertility and ttc is like a marathon - it is all about endurance.
In my head, I've had several books rattling around for years. I keep hoping that one day, I'll finally take the time to put them down on paper and release them as a book. I think the movie got me thinking,..how do I finally get there? Do I really have time to pursue my writing career while being a new mom and continuing my legal advocacy work that I also love? Or is that just one of those pipe dreams I'll never realize?
I used to think I wanted to change the world - something big in politics, get rich and famous for doing something truly important. But most of all, I wanted the money and the notoriety so I could help DO. Someone close to me recently told me that I have wasted my intelligence - that I should have done more or been something more important. Sometimes, I wonder that, too, but then I think about what I have already accomplished - in my career, in my personal life - and I am not certain that I agree. I have time for my family and friends - something I'm not sure I could have done if I was working on being "important." My work does help people - I will probably never get widespread recognition for that, but I'm very well known and respected in my little tiny niche, and I just enjoy what I do and knowing that I help change things. I also think that I've done things to help some people one-on-one. I volunteer, I have taken on a number of pro bono cases (one that helped several abused and neglected children become part of a family) and I like to share in an effort that it might help even one person for just a few minutes.
For once, I am not exactly certain where I am driving this post. I guess you could say the movie last night spoke to me, and has me thinking - about the future, about what I want out of life, about my own personal goals and dreams. I think Julia Child is an amazing example of how it is never too late to find your voice and impact the world. I hope maybe one day I can look back and say that I did what I was meant to do, whatever that impact is on others.
So, tell me, have you found yourself? Are there goals and dreams on your list? What are the things you have always wanted to do? What do you love? And who has a plan to get there?
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