Today is Yom Kippur - the Day of Atonement. We fast from sundown on Sunday night until sundown on Monday - no food or water. The purpose of fasting is partially to cleanse, and partially to allow us to focus on atoning. It is the day we seek forgiveness for all the sins we have committed in the past year, and hope for a "good and final sealing" in the Book of Life for the upcoming year.
This time of year, I often find myself reflecting on my life. Have I been a good person? How can I be a better person? Last year, I was 28 weeks pregnant and I was experiencing pre-term contractions. I spent Kol Nidre night in the hospital, and I was running for an ultrasound on Yom Kippur Day. What a difference a year makes! This year, my little man is sick - figures he would continue the trend of causing me stress on Yom Kippur! Perhaps he will be feeling much better tomorrow.
Year in and year out, I resolve to improve and change, but sadly, I suspect I often fail to make progress from one year to the next. It worries me - I've had such good fortune in the past year, and I hope that I have earned it. I wonder if I have been good enough to those I love, and kind enough to strangers. Last year, I promised myself I would stop procrastinating and focus more on improving my business and staying organized. I promised I would work on being kinder to those I care about, and far more considerate. Unfortunately, I think I have probably failed to make sufficient progress on my New Year's vows. As I sit back and reflect on the past year, I find myself wanting to make the same vows again. Perhaps this year I will make more progress.
Speaking of being considerate, here is a bit of a non sequitur. I am constantly amazed by how thoughtful, caring and considerate some people can be. I have a few friends that are like that - they mail thank you cards promptly, always remember to call before important life events, send gifts on time, and send a "thinking of you card" or a little token for good luck. I wish I was more like that. I have to say, I am not spontaneously thoughtful. I have great intentions to call or buy cute little gifts, but I get distracted and forget. I so appreciate when people think of me - perhaps this year I can learn to be more considerate towards others.
To everyone celebrating this high holy day, I hope you have an easy fast.
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