Still talking . . . but a new message

As you all may recall, my pump and I don't exactly get along. Nevertheless, we've been operating under a truce for the past few months. Generally, I use it as little as possible, and when I do, it works as little as possible, producing only the bare minimum of milk. Many of you may also recall that my breast pump talks to me. For the most part, it has continued to mock me, but it occasionally has had neutral messages for our pumping sessions.

Well, a few weeks ago, my pump stopped articulating well. Seriously . . . I think it was talking, but I couldn't understand it. I slowly realized that it was sick. Not just a passing cold, but perhaps terminally ill. I called up Medela, and after going through their rigmarole, they declared there was nothing wrong with my pump. I insisted that there was, and they agreed to send me out a new motor.

While we were out of town, the new pump arrived. I was supposed to open the box and re-package it with my old pump. UPS, however, in their infinite wisdom, delivered the pump one day . . . and picked it up for return the next day, before I even had a chance to get home and use it! Today, the new pump arrived (for the second time). I swapped out the parts, and here I am, pumping away.

I was excited to meet my new pump. I turned it on tonight, fully expecting a new dialogue. Several of my friends have informed me that their pumps say wonderful things like "you're pretty" and "you go girl" while they pump. I was looking forward to this new conversation, and I eagerly awaited the message from my new pump. As expected, this pump also talks. It has spent the entire time repeating the phrase "Wacko" over and over again. Apparently, Medela sent me another pump in need of a serious attitude adjustment. I was hoping for a nicer pump this go around . . . any tips for improving communication with a pump?