Lighthearted and occasionally sarcastic sharing of my experiences with infertility, baby-raising after infertility and life after losing a parent.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
First full day at home...and I think things went extremely well! Mom slept well last night - she woke up only briefly at 4:30 am. I actually got a few hours of sleep, too. I took Maya to bed around 2, woke up with Mom at 4:30, and went back to sleep around 5:30 or so. I woke up a few more times briefly between 7 and 8 before waking up for the day. Krystal arrived promptly at 8:30, and my mother woke up shortly thereafter.
I gave mom her first set of pills, and then left while Krystal helped her get ready. I made breakfast for everyone...Mom, Dad, DH, and Micah. We sat at the table together, and it was a nice morning meal.
About 10 minutes after I changed Maya, I heard a loud explosion. Yes, she decided to poop in her clean diaper...AGAIN. DH always jokes that she likes a fresh bowl (for those of you who used to watch Ally McBeal, that is DH's nod to Peter McNichol's character, who used his remote device to flush the toilet BEFORE entering the stall because he liked a fresh bowl).
After breakfast, Dad went out to run some errands, and DH and Micah got ready to leave for services. Mom, Maya, Krystal and I spent the day together. I read Mom the blog, I made a few phone calls, we sat and chatted a bit.
The home health nurse arrived today to conduct the intake interview and start the process for Mom's services. Mom will have weekly blood draws and monitoring through this nurse, and she will also have physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. In fact, the speech therapist called tonight, and we have our first appointment with him on Wednesday.
While the nurse was here, my brother arrived for a visit. He was able to stay for a few hours, and we had a good visit. We gave him a tour of the house, and he did some entertaining of Maya. While he was here, Maya decided to show off...and she rolled over from back to belly for the first time!!
She did it several times, in fact, with a big juicy grin on her face. My brother was a pile of mush for his niece, and my mom kept talking about her chubby cheeks and juicy smile. After our wonderful visit, my brother had to leave to go in to work for a few hours.
Shortly thereafter, we had an interesting visit from the neighbors across the street - they stopped by with cookies to introduce themselves! I've never had neighbors be that friendly before. I couldn't decide, however, if they were trying to figure us out. We moved in suddenly, we've had trucks back and forth, and delivery people with equipment, about 900 different cars in and out (not to mention the 4 cars we are driving), a nursing aide, a babysitter, and a home health nurse, so I can definitely understand their curiosity. They stayed about 15 minutes or so, and Mom had a chance to chat with them, too. I think they definitely asked a number of questions, but I tend to question people when they are so friendly! I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but we learned the other day that our landlord failed to file the proper documents to make this a rental unit. I have a sneaking suspicion that our friendly neighbors across the street may have been the ones who reported her, but perhaps I'm wrong.
DH, Micah and my father returned home from their outings by 2:30 or so. DH immediately put Micah down for a nap (Micah was awake and chatting for over an hour), Krystal took my Mom to her room for a nap, and I managed to get Maya to sleep for her nap. DH disappeared downstairs (I assume he napped, too), and I surveyed the house. I'm not sure what my father was doing...probably in and out running errands. I knew that it might be my only chance to do some cleaning and unpacking...and I just couldn't. I was so tired and just sick of unpacking. I stretched out my legs on the couch...and crashed.
I heard Maya wake up, and I went to go grab her, but Krystal got there first. I am ashamed to admit this, but I let her take Maya. I knew it wasn't her job, and I just...didn't get up. I slept for 1 1/2 hours thanks to Krystal, and it isn't even in her job description to help with Maya. DH and my father were nowhere nearby, and without Krystal, I never would have gotten a nap today. I opened my eyes a few times and told Krystal I could take Maya, but each time she insisted she had her and to go back to sleep. And I did. I cannot even begin to thank Krystal for all of her help - she runs a little extra interference with Micah, she picks up and holds the baby when I need to help my mother with things, and she is always happy to help out. She has been unpacking and organizing things in my mother's room, and she has had so many great ideas for getting us set up. She has perhaps been one of the most helpful people to me over the past few weeks, and especially the past 48 hours. So, thank you, Krystal, for all you do. It is GREATLY appreciated.
By 4:30, I was awake again and starting to plan for dinner. My father arrived home at 5, and I sent him back out again to pick up food for dinner. We ordered an assortment of Italian food (pizza, ravioli and eggplant parmesan), and it was a nice meal. I set the table and got everything ready to go. We worked on waking my mother up from her nap, and I got DH up and asked him to watch Maya. My mother was very confused...she always seems to think it is morning when she wakes up from her naps, and somehow, even when we tell her that it is 6:00 pm, she cannot understand how it is not morning.
When my father got home with dinner, I put the food out and Krystal got Mom ready to join us for dinner. My father woke Micah up from his nap, and Micah was NOT happy about that. After grumping for about 10 minutes, he dug into dinner with almost as much gusto as my mother.
After dinner, friends came by with a feast for dessert...chocolate chip cookies, rugelach, apple pie, and maccaroons. We had a great visit - Micah was running around, they brought a beautiful gift for Maya, and we had a lovely evening. My mom went back to her room around 8:30 and our friends left. Krystal stayed a little while longer to help us get Mom ready for bed, and she gave me a few tips on helping my Mom. That has been invaluable, and I hope it makes things easier for us at night.
We decided to keep Micah awake until 9:00 for daylight savings in the hopes that he gets right back on schedule. Micah through a fit because he couldn't play with the "say cheese" (his word for camera). I need to get tempting items like that out of his reach.
Mom dozed a bit from 9 until 11 when I woke her to give her bedtime medications. She immediately fell back asleep, and I hope she sleeps soundly through until morning. Even if she wakes up once, I'm fairly certain she'll fall back to sleep quickly and sleep in a bit. I held her medications an extra hour tonight so that she can sleep later tomorrow morning.
We tried to put Maya to sleep at 8:30, hoping that she would start to fall asleep at a more normal time and that daylight savings time will just push her entire schedule a bit earlier. Unfortunately, no such luck. Maya has been asleep since about 8:40, but every time we put her down, she cries. She just wants to sleep snuggled close to someone. I wish I knew how to make her sleep in her crib, or anywhere but on one of us!
I think we are starting to get into a routine. We eat breakfast at 8:30/9, lunch at 12:30, and dinner at 6. It works for Micah, it works for Mom and her medicine schedule, and it is fairly consistent with the schedule she kept at the hospital. Of course, if you ask my mother, she'll tell you that I need to do a better job of creating a consistent schedule. She thinks it was very outrageous to serve her eggplant parmesan for breakfast, and she thinks I'm going to damage her stomach with such crazy foods. She also thinks I need to do a better job of getting her to eat at normal times, because she shouldn't have breakfast twice in one day. Yes, the confusion about time is a bit frustrating...no matter how many times I explain to her that she woke up from a nap and it was dinner time, she thinks I'm lying to her. It didn't matter that I reminded her that we had breakfast and lunch and that eggplant was dinner - she somehow believes that I forgot to serve her dinner and then I gave her eggplant for breakfast. Logic just defies this situation. My mother ended our 8:00 session tonight chastising me about getting the timing better for meals...but I think I'm going to stick with feeding her (and the rest of us) at 8:30, 12:30 and 6:00 (with an afternoon snack in there as appropriate).
So, if you are planning to join us for a meal...please understand that the timing is fairly important, and while we might be able to fudge things a little earlier or later, we need to keep things on schedule for her medications and for the sake of her time disorientation (that, and mom does NOT like to wait for food these days).
So, after today, I made zero progress on cleaning up. I did get to shower, but I still have no idea where most of my clothing is located. I also managed to sort my mother's pills into a pill container for the week, so that should also make things easier for us. I'm hoping to find more time tomorrow to focus on unpacking and getting organized. My goal is to have the kitchen, our bedroom and the rec room in passable shape by Tuesday. I'm counting down the days until our organizer returns...because I just don't think I can get this house in order without a ton of help, especially when I spend the day with a child (or two) attached to me.
I asked Mom tonight if she was glad to be home. She is...she says she loves the freedom of going from room to room during the day, and she is looking forward to taking a walk outside tomorrow. She is making plans to meet people for lunch in the coming weeks, and she is loving the time with the kids. Personally, I love having her home, too. I can see her every day and talk to her when I want. When she is sleeping or busy, I can do my own things. Best of all, I don't have to drive to the hospital and back every day.
This week, I am looking forward to a bit of freedom. I plan to leave and go out to take care of a few things I've been putting off. I'm looking forward to some "me" time, and I finally feel like I do not need to feel guilty trying to cram in time for everyone during the day. I also feel like I'm on a more normal schedule. It looks like I'm on track to get to bed around 2:00 am for the second night in a row! I think it will take us some time to fully settle into our routine, get unpacked, and lay new ground rules for living together.
I'm an attorney and policy consultant, and DH is a consultant to nonprofit organizations. We met at a Superbowl Party in 2005, got engaged the following year, and we were married in November 2006. We had a long and rocky road before finally welcoming our first baby, Micah, into this world on December 14, 2008.