Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Date Night

More craziness here! I'm going to try to keep it short, mostly because it is 6:00 am and the baby has been up on and off all night, and I have no idea how long I have before she wakes again.

The kids woke up at their usual time. While Megan took Micah to his class, I went with DH and Maya to meet my father at the rental house. We needed to take some measurements and make note of some things around the house to plan for the move. While we were there, Mom called us to say that she had thrown up again. Naturally, I was concerned, and I told Mom I'd call the medical oncologist.

We got the necessary measurements...but I noticed a small problem. Spiders. LOTS of spiders. EVERYWHERE. I'm very allergic to spider bites (as is Micah), so the spider problem definitely did not sit well with me. Luckily, one of my parents' neighbors is a pest control specialist...I grew up with his younger sister, and we've known them for many years. I called him, and he'll be by to take care of those spiders in time for our move.

After our home inspection, I dropped DH off and headed up to the nursing home. When I arrived, my mom's childhood friends were already there, visiting my mother. She was looking great - definitely in good spirits, and no signs of any nausea. We sat and talked with our company for a bit, and then my father arrived. A little while later, everyone had to leave us, so we returned Mom to her room for lunch. Once again, Mom wasn't feeling very well. I sent an email to her oncologist, and luckily he called me back a few minutes later. He was concerned about the nausea, but said it was not presenting as a neurological issue. He did say he wanted to get another MRI if it continued.

Later that afternoon, Mom informed me that she was dizzy when she leaned her head back, and that was causing the nausea. I sent a follow-up note to the oncologist, and we told the doctor at the nursing home. He informed us that Mom has a UTI, but he was concerned about the dizziness. I think he is requesting a scan for her in the morning...but I'm concerned that he isn't going to understand what he is looking at with her brain cancer. He said he wanted to know if there is a "midline shift" - uh, yeah, that is definitely what he'll find, since she has had a "midline shift" since the initially diagnosis and admittance back in August. In fact, it had gotten much worse, and we were told we were unlikely to see signs of improvement for a few months because of the radiation swelling. I also think that a regular CT scan is pointless - he would need to order a CT scan with contrast to see anything useful at this point because of the cancer/surgery/radiation. I sent another note to her oncologist asking if he wants to recommend a particular type of scan that could be done, but we'll see.

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. We stayed with Mom and she was feeling fine. At 2:00 she went downstairs to finish her therapy. I did our daily facial cleaning and lotioning routine, and Mom told me that she thinks everyone tells her she looks so good because her skin is in good shape now. It made me smile, knowing that she thinks our ritual is helping her.

I left around 4:30 with Dad. On our way out, we ran into three friends, who were on their way in to visit Mom. I was glad that Mom would be having more company today. I made it home around 5:30 to spend time with Micah. DH and I had a surprise for tonight...we were going out to dinner and a massage! My friends decided to come over and babysit the kids to give us some time out. Unfortunately, DH never made the appointments for the massages, so massage and dinner became just dinner.

We went to a new place. It was very good, and kind of interesting. It was Italian food (pasta, salads, paninis, pizza), but it was based on the German market concept. There are tables all over, and there are food stations. You have to order food from each of the stations, and they stamp your card for every thing you order. When you are all finished eating, you just pay the bill.

The food was delicious...but we had a terrible time. The phones were ringing off the hook - I was talking to the mover and to the pest control specialist and to the organizer. I realized that DH had not made a number of the arrangements for the house that I had asked him to take care of, so we were fighting tonight. We are both so overwhelmed by everything we have to do in the next few days and just cannot seem to figure out where to begin. The house is a mess, I'm only home a few hours a day, and we are both pretty stressed about making the move happen. We are hoping that between the organizer and the mover coming the next few days, they can just figure it out and make it happen. If not...I guess all we really need moved is the furniture, our clothing, the kids toys, and the other big things. We can always finish moving the smaller stuff later.

Our first night out in over 4 months, and all we could do was fight. We are both under a lot of stress from everything going on, but I get so frustrated that he delays making appointments for important things, and then he seems surprised that they do not hold time in their schedules for him. I was so angry about everything...the move, the fighting, the canceled massages...that I left the restaurant early and went home. It was 8:45, and I could just tell that the kids were a mess and needed me to get back. I arrived home at 9:00, and walked into the house to find Maya screaming her head off and Micah wide awake and watching tv.

Apparently, Micah was GREAT when we left - no crying or anything. After playing for a bit, he went up to bed, he brushed his teeth and took his medicine, he got into his pajamas...but he wouldn't let them read him a book or put him in the crib. He started to call for his Daddy instead. When the crying started, they brought him back downstairs for a little Word World.

Maya, however, melted down shortly after we left. Poor Maya just did not want to stop crying. She was tired, cranky, and all she wanted was me. Well, to be more precise, all she wanted was to nurse. She was not interested in the bottle or anyone else for that matter. When I walked through the door, I realized that Micah was just fine, so I quickly swaddled Maya up tight and nursed her to sleep. Micah sat next to me and cuddled close while I put Maya to sleep. She was so worked up that she did that temper-tantrum snivel/hiccup in her sleep!

DH arrived home a little while later and put Micah to sleep. Mom called in the middle of all of this to say she was awake, feeling fine, and just waiting for her pills. She said she was nervous that she might throw up again. I told her to call if there were any issues, and I haven't heard from her all night.

My friends left to get home to their dog. They were so kind to come and babysit...but sometimes I feel like taking time off is worse than just doing it myself. I spent the time away stressed about everything going on and wondering how much the children were melting down. I came home to a very upset baby and a wide-awake toddler, and trying to get them to sleep was harder. We are definitely going to need to work on having other people put Maya to bed so that nights out are easier.

At four months with Micah, he was regularly taking bottles and his Grammy put him to sleep at least 1 night every week. Because of Maya's resistance to the bottle and everything else going on, I've been putting her to sleep myself every night, so she really doesn't do well with anyone else yet.

Maya was very uncooperative even after they left - she stayed awake until after 11:00 pm (mostly smiling at me and laughing at the fact that she wouldn't fall asleep). DH and I tried to talk through things...but we were both upset and kept waking Maya, so we tabled our discussion. I finally got Maya to fall asleep, and then I crashed. DH took Maya upstairs around 1:00 or so and he crashed.

Unfortunately, Maya woke up again at 5:00, and it took me another hour to get her back to sleep. Rough night here. I really hope that she stays asleep for a few more hours. I'm going to try and get some sleep - we have another long day ahead.

Three more days until Mom comes home.

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