A Post About Me

I spend a lot of time posting about Micah because, frankly, that is why most of you come to read the blog! But today I am making this post all about me. I am thinking of discussing different topics in just a random order, so forgive all the non sequiturs.

Mah Jong. I have recently turned into one of those little old suburban Jewish moms - I started to play Mah Jong. Some of you may have no clue what these two things have to do with each other, but for my Jewish readers, you know that the majority of suburban (and even urban) Jewish mothers and ESPECIALLY grandmothers seem to play mah jong. It is based on a Chinese game that is a lot like Rummy. When I was a child, my mom and her friends used to play mah jong every week. I remember many nights when the ladies would gather around the kitchen talking, laughing, eating (a few of them smoking) and playing all night long. Well, it was probably only until 11 or 12, but at the time it seemed like "all night" because I had to go to bed while they played. In my teen years and even in my 20s, I had no interest in learning how to play. In fact, I'm certain I mocked my mother (and my grandmother) for being "old ladies" because they enjoyed mah jong. I kept thinking of it as a "Jewish mother" or "Jewish grandmother" game. I have no idea when my mockery gave way to interest. Over the past few months, I notice more and more on Facebook that my friends (both single and married) set their status to inform everyone that they are off to play mah jong. Maybe that is what piqued my interest. All I know is that a few weeks ago, when one of the women in my playgroup mentioned something about starting a game, I was excited to learn. For our first weeks, we have been rotating houses and taking advantage of our mah jong playing mothers to teach us how to play. Monday night was my mom's turn. I think we are getting better, and perhaps soon, we'll be all set to play on our own!

Diet. I am so frustrated with myself about my weight. I put on a lot of weight trying to get pregnant, and I thought that because I did not gain weight during the pregnancy, I would be skinny in no time once I gave birth. Wrong! I've been breastfeeding, and while it has not been a source of huge weight loss for me, my biggest fear is that it is the only thing keeping me from gaining massive amounts of weight. I am slowly coming to the end of breastfeeding (I'll save that discussion for another post), and I really need to get my diet back under control so I do not put any weight on when I wean him. Frankly, I need to do more than just avoid gaining weight when I wean Micah - I really need to commit to South Beach again and lose weight. I've been avoiding it for quite a while - I always have an excuse: breastfeeding makes me hungry, I'm going on vacation so I am waiting until I get back, etc., etc. I really do need to just commit to losing weight and taking care of myself. I wish it wasn't so hard!

Exercise. I have been terrible about exercising lately, but I am trying to get back into it. I have gone to the pool to swim my laps a few times in the past few weeks, and I have been desperately trying to attend my yoga class (the one I had to drop when I was put on bedrest). It turns out, failure to exercise for long periods of time results in poor physical shape. Who would have thought? Part of my effort to lose some weight is to get back into good physical shape. I'm working on committing to that process.

Finding me. I really need to continue working on finding me again. Life has gotten easier now that Micah is getting older and we have a daycare solution. I am building time to work into my schedule, and I am slowly building time for a social life into my schedule, too. Now, if I can figure out how to work in the diet and exercise, too, I'd really be on top of things! DH and I have been going out on "date night" on Thursdays. I have been meeting my friends weekly to play mah jong, and I try to take some time out for a walk with a friend or a dinner out once each week. I'm thinking of starting a wine club for my friends - just a fun evening once a month. I really think that I'm on my way to having that perfect balance I am seeking!

TTC. DH and I are talking about ttc again. Part of me is ready right now - I feel like we shouldn't waste time because we had so many challenges and we are not exactly getting any younger, and I definitely want a second baby. At the same time, I am enjoying this time with Micah, and I am not quite ready to deal with another new infant. I'm just now finding that balance, and I fear throwing a new baby wrench into that just yet. We also have to move into a bigger house (or build an addition on this one) to have room for a second baby, so I'm a bit fearful of getting pregnant because we are not quite ready for the added pressure of figuring out our living situation so quickly. Perhaps by the end of the summer, we'll start getting careless, and maybe this Fall we'll ttc naturally (highly unlikely to result in a BFP for us). I think maybe in December or January we will try IUI, but I doubt we'll do another IVF until next August. I guess, realistically, that means I have another year to go before we'll have any real shot of being pregnant again - and I think that might just be perfect.