Monday, September 15, 2008

25 weeks and a funeral

I am struggling with some pretty significant mixed emotions today. I am THRILLED that today we've hit 25 weeks - the home stretch of the 2nd trimester, and we are now kissing viability if this baby were to arrive today. It is such a relief to know I've made it this far. Overall, I'm feeling well, and I am truly loving being pregnant, UTIs, morning sickness and all!

Yesterday, I was at a birthday party for my friend's son's 2nd birthday, and as I looked around the room, I was filled with joy to see how much has changed the past 3 years . . . we all met someone, got married and now either have children or have one on the way. I'm not sure any of us could have predicted these wonderful changes 4 years ago.

But at the same time, these past few days have been tinged with sadness. On Friday, I learned that a family friend died. To be more exact, the husband of a girl I grew up with died from cancer on Friday. They are my age, and had been married about 7 years. They have 2 young children, and I can't even imagine what she will be going through the next 3 years. His funeral is today. I am sitting here choked up and crying, and I feel terrible for that - as if I do not have the right to be upset. I hardly knew him - perhaps I met him 5 or 6 times over the years they were married. As I said, we were family friends - I grew up with her, but it is our parents who are friends. We mostly saw each other for a few hours once or twice a year at holidays or family celebrations. I was not part of his fight, nor did I serve as a support to them during this terrible, long struggle. I mostly passively sat back, read his blog, asked for updates, and silently cheered him on, hoping against hope that he would beat the odds and survive this battle. And yet . . . I find the news of his death devastating, and still feel that this has hit part of my family. This shouldn't happen to someone our age. She should not have to be facing this situation, and their children should not have to grow up without a father. Sometimes life just seems so random and unfair.

So I guess I would say today I am thinking about how precious and precarious life is, and how you never know what life has in store for you, both the good and the bad. Life can change in a heartbeat, and none of us really know what our lives will be like in 3 years. I guess all we can do is appreciate where we are today and what we have in our lives now, and hope for good things for the future.

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