I'm sure it is no surprise that I like order in my life. At the root of my need for order is control...once again, I'm sure no one will be surprised that I like to feel some sense of control over myself and my environment. Needless to say, my life is seriously lacking order right now. We are at the mercy of transport, and doctors, and radiation...we spent our lives waiting and wondering what will happen next. That is probably one of the hardest parts about all of this for me...I feel like my ability to control myself and my environment has been stripped away on so many levels, which makes the things I can control so much more important to me.
Normally, my house is the one thing I can control. When everything else in my life gets crazy, I put my house in order - it gives me a sense of calm and control so I can face the rest of the chaos. I like a neat and orderly house...not a perfect or spotless house, but just neat and orderly. I like when everything has a place, even disorganized junk. I prefer to restrict mess to one designated location, usually out of sight from company and easy to put away if the cleaning lady or visitors are coming. I like the kitchen cleaned every day and put back into place, and I like my living areas free from chaos.
Unfortunately, DH is kind of like Pigpen from Charlie Brown...a cloud of mess and chaos follows him everywhere he goes. I always joke that I can see his path through the house because of the trail he leaves behind. He works very hard to try and pick up the mess he creates and clean up after himself, but I would have to say that for every 10 things he cleans up, he messes up 12 (in fairness to DH, he has drastically improved over the past years...he used to mess up 12 things, then mess up 12 more, and not clean up any of it!). It is a losing battle for him, and it amazes me that he just cannot even see all the mess he creates, especially when I look around and it is as if big neon flashing lights point out all of the mess.
Normally, I just pick up after DH and return my living space to order. But lately, with all that has been happening, I just cannot stay on top of the mess that DH creates...not to mention the havoc Micah now wreaks on the house, and my own laziness about putting things away the past few months. We still have the house cleaned every week, but I am sitting here tonight, focusing on the mess around me. In our last renovation, we removed many of the walls on the first floor, so from the position in the dining room where I blog and pump, I can see the mess in every room of this floor all at once. The buffet in the kitchen is piled high with books that Micah has ripped that I need to repair, Maya's birth announcements that I haven't had time to address and send out, a stack of thank-you notes I've written for all the wonderful gifts for Maya's baby naming that I still have not finished or sent out, my pile of work/office things that are without a home, the drawings for our home renovations, and then a pile of....cords, technology, papers and crap from DH that definitely does not belong on the buffet. The kitchen counters are covered with bottles and jars that do not fit in the cabinets (largely because there are now things that do not belong stuffed in the cabinets...like empty mason jars and baby food jars). We have the oatmeal container from DH's breakfast sitting out (because he never remembers to put it away). There is a 10 foot pile of mail on the front table (we get WAY too much junk mail, DH and I are both terrible about sorting through it, and I do not even have an office or a cabinet yet to file away my things). Back before I was married, I would have just dropped most of it into the trash when the pile started to offend me and solve my problem, but DH...well, he does not like to just throw anything away without inspecting it himself. I have a feeling waking him up now to inspect everything would not be well-received.
I miss my days of an orderly house. I am certain that much of the mess we face has a lot to do with the fact that we've been living in a house that is way too small for us for several years now. We do not have a bedroom for Maya, I do not have an office, we have no storage space, so even if we wanted to put everything away, it simply does not fit in this house. It may also have a lot to do with the fact that a few months back, when I thought we were only weeks away from moving out for our renovations (and I was at the tail-end of my pregnancy), I gave up fighting the mess because I thought it would be easier to deal with when we moved.
I have to say, I'm looking forward to moving. I cannot wait to throw out some of the crap in the house. I cannot wait to have enough rooms for everyone in our family and some storage space. I cannot wait to have some order back in my living environment. Most of all, I cannot wait to have Mom back home with us so we can all attempt to take some control of what has happened to us. I am sure my mother is having a hard time with the lack of control in her life now, too, and I completely understand that.
Maya woke up on the early side this morning around 7...thanks, in part, to DH making a lot of noise snoring noises. I cannot wait until we can put Maya in her own bedroom! Micah slept until about 8:30...I tried to get DH awake to go get Micah before his yelling woke Maya again, but no such luck. We ended up bringing Micah into our room, and he cuddled with us for a while. We all moved downstairs for breakfast, and I ran around trying to get our clothing and things ready for the day.
Micah has been trying to dress himself more and more everyday. While I was organizing our swim bag, Micah decided to help get himself dressed - he pulled his swim diaper over one leg of his pajamas. Eventually, we decided to help Micah out and got him completely dressed for swim class. Today, we put him in an Elmo sweat outfit...I think he may never wear anything else again!
Once again, swim class was great. Micah is really making progress and loving the water. Now, if I could just convince him that he shouldn't DRINK the pool water, we'd be in business.
After swim class, we drove up to the nursing home. When we arrived, Mom's friends were visiting and my mom was finishing up physical therapy. When she returned, we all sat together for a while in the cafe area talking. Mom was doing great, and sporting her new purple beret. My mom decided today that she wants to shave her head - her head is itching and she just wants all the hair gone. I think it is a great idea, so tomorrow we are going to try and make that happen.
I think we finally have the lease all sorted out and in hand. The owner/agent of this property is kind of a pain in the ass...after dropping off the lease for us the other day, she now wanted to change the terms and the signatories. It took us a few hours to sort it all out, but I think we are all set to return the lease to her in the morning. I have a feeling she is going to be a thorn in our side this next year.
This afternoon, shortly after my mother returned to her room, the "customer service representative" from the nursing home came to speak to us. We gave him some feedback about our experience there, but I think other than listening and nodding, he has no authority to do anything.
After my mom's friends left, we took turns visiting my mother. My father said his goodbyes, and DH took the kids outside for a bit. I sat with my mother (and Krystal) and read the blog and a few other messages to my mom. We tried to order some cortisone cream for my mother's head...her skin is so itchy right now!
Before we all left, Mom got her Delicious kisses and said goodbye to Micah. He was cute..he said "night night" to Mom, and he also crossed his arms over his chest (the sign for "love') when she said "I love you" to him. We left mom in good hands with Krystal, and we told her that there was fruit and a sandwich in the fridge for mom (instead of nursing home dinner).
On the way home, DH and I decided to stop off at IHOP for dinner with the kids. Both were awake and cranky, it was almost 6 pm, and eating dinner out seemed easier than coming home and cooking. Maya was just happy to get out of the car and nurse. Micah actually ate fairly well - we ordered him a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of fruit. He ate most of my eggs, one of DH's pancakes, a few bites of the grilled cheese, and some of the fruit. Unfortunately, Micah spotted the ketchup during dinner, so we put some on his plate. He loves to dip things in ketchup. He dipped his grilled cheese, and then, much to my dismay, he decided to dip his apples into the ketchup! Yes, disgusting. But Micah seemed to love it.
We made it home around 7, and we spent the evening relaxing together again. My mom called around 8:15 (she had some questions about medications, she wanted a fan for the room, and we needed to sort out the aide issue for tomorrow). I gave her answers about medications, I told her I'd call Dad to see if he could figure out the fan issue and promised I'd bring one tomorrow if they did not find the fan tonight, and I contacted the manager for her floor to discuss the aide issue. Apparently, they say they have aides covering her indefinitely right now, but they will not be using the outside company (and Krystal) tomorrow. Instead, they apparently have some companions on-staff, and will be using one of them. We are waiting to see if Mom feels comfortable with the person they send (or if they decided to terminate the sitters after tomorrow) - if my mother doesn't like the person they send or if they cancel the sitter, we'll contact Krystal and re-hire her. We've already asked Krystal if she will work with us when Mom leaves the nursing home - we are hoping she'll be able to work 1-2 days a week and fill in whenever the other aide is unavailable.
Micah went to bed around 8:30, and Maya fell asleep for the first time shortly after that. Maya woke up again a little after 9, but was back down again within 10 minutes. So far, both children have slept through the night. Okay, I'm off to try and clean the house a bit before everyone wakes up.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Message from Mom
Okay, folks. There is no way that I can mention or physically write thank yous to each of you for your prayers, well-wishes, calls, gifts and visits. I'm taking an enormous breach of Emily Post etiquette and posting on the blog instead. My parents would be horrified but it is just going to have to be this way under the circumstances.
To those of you who have sent prayers, cards, gifts and well-wishes, I can never thank you for the encouragement and the spiritual lift it has given me. Words cannot begin to describe how much it has meant to me. I couldn't even begin. I have never been so moved in all my life as I have been the past few weeks. To say I'm a very lucky woman is a small drop in a large bucket, and I don't know how I would have gotten along without any of you.
I cannot begin to enumerate each individual, but you know who you are. What's more, I know who you are.
The birthday party was beyond all my expectations. The fact that my friends came in from out of town was beyond belief...and to bring me my purple French beret! Now I can speak French: "French toast, French fries, Voilà, allez cuisine."
The most touching things occur and I can't even begin to tell you what they mean to me. Thank you thank you thank you.
I also wanted to thank my cousin F for the use of your wheelchair van. It made my day! It was a mark of generosity above and beyond, and it means so much to me.
I also wanted to thank those who made sure my family did not go to bed hungry with all of your food deliveries. How can I thank you for that?
The Party
What a day! Today was wonderful - I cannot believe how everything just fell into place and worked out as we had hoped! I think we were all nervous and hoping that today went well.
The kids slept until 8:45 - it was so nice that they gave us the extra time to sleep this morning. My mom called around 8:30 to tell me that she was awake and all was well. She had not slept much last night - I think she was nervous about today. We told her that we would be up to get her around 11:00-11:30, and we would bring everything she needed.
DH and I scurried around the house trying to get ready. He got up and showered first, and then we took the kids downstairs for feeding and dressing. DH still had to finish setting up the van - we had to install the two car seats in the back row so that we could all go up together in the van. I had waited until the last minute, and naturally I had to ice the cupcakes this morning before we left. Luckily, I went simple, so it only took me 20 minutes.
We made great time getting up to the nursing home, and we arrived right around 11:30. DH stayed down in the car with the kids while I went upstairs to get my mother. My mother was sleeping when I arrived, so I waited a bit for her to wake up. I brought her an outfit, so Krystal, her aide, helped her get dressed and use the commode. We gathered her medications for the afternoon, got mom situated in her wheelchair, and were ready to head downstairs by 12.
My mother kept asking if we were waiting for transport, and when I told her that we had F's wheelchair van, she started to cheer! She was so excited to be in a "real" car again and not need to wait on transport. We found Micah playing in the front seat of the van and DH holding Maya. We opened the door, rolled mom right in, and locked the wheelchair down. We had invited Krystal to join us, too, so it was a bit of a tight fit for DH in the van. A few minutes later, and we were off to the chinese restaurant (with both children screaming in the back). My mother was cute...she asked me if I had more Tylenol for her, and I got worried and asked why. She said that she was just anticipating the headache the kids' screaming was going to give her!
We arrived exactly at 12:30, and my father, brother, Paige and Peyton were outside to greet us. Things were a bit hectic as we unloaded (we had a lot of stuff and two crying babies), but we easily got mom out and headed inside. Krystal was a huge help to us - she helped us get everything inside and set up.
Everyone was already there! 17 of my mom's closest friends, and 2 surprise guests from out of town. I think my mom was thrilled to see everyone, and she was definitely surprised by her out-of-town guests. We had lots of cards for mom to open, flowers from her friends that we used as a centerpiece, a brand new purple beret from Paris for Mom, and my brother and the girls brought Mom some desserts to keep at the nursing home.
The food started to arrive quickly. We planned it that way because we were not sure how long my mother would want to stay out. She had quite an appetite! Our meal included egg rolls and spring rolls and vegetable dumplings for the appetizer, and then beef and broccoli, chicken with cashews, vegetable lo mein, szechuan string beans, and eggplant for the main course. Dessert, of course, were chocolate cupcakes! I sat across my mom and nursed the baby. My niece, Paige, spent most of the time taking pictures of everyone with my camera.
We had one "emergency" - I was so worried about packing everything for my mom that I overlooked an important point...we had no diapers for Micah! Naturally, he needed a diaper change from the moment we arrived at the restaurant. Normally, we keep spare diapers in our car...but we had the wheelchair van instead of our normal car. Thankfully, one of my mom's friends found an old diaper in her car...it was a size too small, but it did the trick.
All four of the kids were great. Paige and Peyton behaved nicely and were running around playing with everyone's cameras. Paige attached herself to one of our friends for the day, and Peyton attached herself to another. Micah was quite well behaved - he sat next to me eating or chased "P" around (mostly Paige, but he now calls both of the girls "P"). Maya nursed and slept most of the time, but then she hung out on Grampy's lap for a while, and even sat up by herself in a chair for a bit. She has recently discovered her toes, and loves to chew on her feet whenever possible.
Micah is currently at an awkward stage size-wise right now. He is so skinny that the 18 month size is too big in the waist, but he is starting to outgrow that size height-wise. He walks around with his pants falling down all the time (which actually helps the length problem), but because he is constantly yanking up his pants, he is very aware of them. He has developed two new habits - yanking his pants up, and taking them off. We only had one incident of him removing his pants in public today, and I don't think most of the guests noticed! We have to watch him carefully - you just never know when he'll drop trou. (Hey, we have to watch one of my mom's friends, too...we never know when he'll drop trou, either!).
Everyone socialized and had a great time. Everyone was snapping photos and taking videos, and it was truly perfect. Mom did a great job - she was awake, interacting, definitely eating, and able to hang in there for 3 hours despite the fact that she had been awake all night.
At 3:00, she suddenly got antsy and needed to leave. We have to work on her patience! From the minute she said she wanted to leave until we got her out the door and in the car was about 10 minutes, but about 30 seconds after she told me she wanted to leave, she was telling me that I needed to hurry up. I think she forgets that moving 2 babies, an aide, and a person in a wheelchair takes some effort and coordination (not to mention saying goodbye to a room full of 17 Jewish people). The first thing we did was straighten her up and put her arm rest on the wheelchair so she could safely travel. While we were doing that, she was snapping at us about getting ready and going, and I pointed out that putting her armrest on was the first step to going.
Once we got Mom loaded in the car, the ride back was uneventful. We were back at the nursing home by 3:30, and Krystal took Mom up to settle into bed while we followed behind. I read Mom the blog and her messages and took care of a few other odds and ends before heading home. We were back home tonight by 5:00 pm!
It was a quiet evening with the kids. We played, watched some tv, and generally relaxed. Micah has an ID tag of DH's he likes to wear - he puts it on his head, and then he starts playing his "air guitar." He puts one hand up to the side and takes his other hand and strokes up and down on his belly. He gets a huge grin if I say "air guitar" while he is playing. We're working on making guitar noises next. He also started singing again tonight - I love hearing his little voice starting songs now.
Around 6, I put on an episode of Sesame Street for Micah. He was so excited that he grinned, clapped, and started dancing. After Sesame Street, Micah found a baby doll that our friends Amy and Sam had brought him a few weeks ago. He was holding it, kissing it, and taking care of it. He then took the diaper off, and next thing I saw, he had a pair of Maya's socks and he was trying to put socks on the baby (my mother would be so proud!). I helped him with the socks (and shoes, too), and then Micah was finished with the doll. After he was done, I searched the room for the baby doll's diaper. I searched and searched and could not find it. I looked in all the areas where Micah was playing, and then an idea popped into my head...I looked inside the diaper pail, and lo and behold...Micah had thrown the baby's diaper in the diaper pail! We were hysterical. He already does a better job of cleaning than his father!
Maya happily played on the playmat for a bit, and then nursed and snuggled. Mom called at 8:30 pm to say she was still awake and had gotten her pills. I wished her a good night, and she had a chance to talk a bit with Micah before bed. Just before DH took Micah up to bed, I glanced over and noticed that he was sitting with his arm around Maya, she was sitting up, and they were both staring at the tv. I was amazed...she is starting to look less and less like a baby every day. I think in another blink, she is going to be off and moving on her own.
My mom called again at 5:00 am, shortly after I started blogging. She said she did not sleep much (of course, she had been in bed since 4:00 pm) and was getting ready for the day. I think she has not been sleeping as well since she got an aide, so we do need to think about how that is affecting her sleep.
It is days like today when I start to think...or hope...that it will all be okay again. My mother is looking so good that it is hard not to jump there. And then I remember. I want so badly to hold on to this time together. But every time we celebrate an event, I can't help but wonder if it will be the last time we are all together to celebrate. I hope that I am wondering the same thing again next year on my mother's birthday...and the year after that, too. I guess I'm still hoping for that miracle and trying to be thankful for the time we have left together. But if I could freeze time for a while, I think I would.
The kids slept until 8:45 - it was so nice that they gave us the extra time to sleep this morning. My mom called around 8:30 to tell me that she was awake and all was well. She had not slept much last night - I think she was nervous about today. We told her that we would be up to get her around 11:00-11:30, and we would bring everything she needed.
DH and I scurried around the house trying to get ready. He got up and showered first, and then we took the kids downstairs for feeding and dressing. DH still had to finish setting up the van - we had to install the two car seats in the back row so that we could all go up together in the van. I had waited until the last minute, and naturally I had to ice the cupcakes this morning before we left. Luckily, I went simple, so it only took me 20 minutes.
We made great time getting up to the nursing home, and we arrived right around 11:30. DH stayed down in the car with the kids while I went upstairs to get my mother. My mother was sleeping when I arrived, so I waited a bit for her to wake up. I brought her an outfit, so Krystal, her aide, helped her get dressed and use the commode. We gathered her medications for the afternoon, got mom situated in her wheelchair, and were ready to head downstairs by 12.
My mother kept asking if we were waiting for transport, and when I told her that we had F's wheelchair van, she started to cheer! She was so excited to be in a "real" car again and not need to wait on transport. We found Micah playing in the front seat of the van and DH holding Maya. We opened the door, rolled mom right in, and locked the wheelchair down. We had invited Krystal to join us, too, so it was a bit of a tight fit for DH in the van. A few minutes later, and we were off to the chinese restaurant (with both children screaming in the back). My mother was cute...she asked me if I had more Tylenol for her, and I got worried and asked why. She said that she was just anticipating the headache the kids' screaming was going to give her!
We arrived exactly at 12:30, and my father, brother, Paige and Peyton were outside to greet us. Things were a bit hectic as we unloaded (we had a lot of stuff and two crying babies), but we easily got mom out and headed inside. Krystal was a huge help to us - she helped us get everything inside and set up.
Everyone was already there! 17 of my mom's closest friends, and 2 surprise guests from out of town. I think my mom was thrilled to see everyone, and she was definitely surprised by her out-of-town guests. We had lots of cards for mom to open, flowers from her friends that we used as a centerpiece, a brand new purple beret from Paris for Mom, and my brother and the girls brought Mom some desserts to keep at the nursing home.
The food started to arrive quickly. We planned it that way because we were not sure how long my mother would want to stay out. She had quite an appetite! Our meal included egg rolls and spring rolls and vegetable dumplings for the appetizer, and then beef and broccoli, chicken with cashews, vegetable lo mein, szechuan string beans, and eggplant for the main course. Dessert, of course, were chocolate cupcakes! I sat across my mom and nursed the baby. My niece, Paige, spent most of the time taking pictures of everyone with my camera.
We had one "emergency" - I was so worried about packing everything for my mom that I overlooked an important point...we had no diapers for Micah! Naturally, he needed a diaper change from the moment we arrived at the restaurant. Normally, we keep spare diapers in our car...but we had the wheelchair van instead of our normal car. Thankfully, one of my mom's friends found an old diaper in her car...it was a size too small, but it did the trick.
All four of the kids were great. Paige and Peyton behaved nicely and were running around playing with everyone's cameras. Paige attached herself to one of our friends for the day, and Peyton attached herself to another. Micah was quite well behaved - he sat next to me eating or chased "P" around (mostly Paige, but he now calls both of the girls "P"). Maya nursed and slept most of the time, but then she hung out on Grampy's lap for a while, and even sat up by herself in a chair for a bit. She has recently discovered her toes, and loves to chew on her feet whenever possible.
Micah is currently at an awkward stage size-wise right now. He is so skinny that the 18 month size is too big in the waist, but he is starting to outgrow that size height-wise. He walks around with his pants falling down all the time (which actually helps the length problem), but because he is constantly yanking up his pants, he is very aware of them. He has developed two new habits - yanking his pants up, and taking them off. We only had one incident of him removing his pants in public today, and I don't think most of the guests noticed! We have to watch him carefully - you just never know when he'll drop trou. (Hey, we have to watch one of my mom's friends, too...we never know when he'll drop trou, either!).
Everyone socialized and had a great time. Everyone was snapping photos and taking videos, and it was truly perfect. Mom did a great job - she was awake, interacting, definitely eating, and able to hang in there for 3 hours despite the fact that she had been awake all night.
At 3:00, she suddenly got antsy and needed to leave. We have to work on her patience! From the minute she said she wanted to leave until we got her out the door and in the car was about 10 minutes, but about 30 seconds after she told me she wanted to leave, she was telling me that I needed to hurry up. I think she forgets that moving 2 babies, an aide, and a person in a wheelchair takes some effort and coordination (not to mention saying goodbye to a room full of 17 Jewish people). The first thing we did was straighten her up and put her arm rest on the wheelchair so she could safely travel. While we were doing that, she was snapping at us about getting ready and going, and I pointed out that putting her armrest on was the first step to going.
Once we got Mom loaded in the car, the ride back was uneventful. We were back at the nursing home by 3:30, and Krystal took Mom up to settle into bed while we followed behind. I read Mom the blog and her messages and took care of a few other odds and ends before heading home. We were back home tonight by 5:00 pm!
It was a quiet evening with the kids. We played, watched some tv, and generally relaxed. Micah has an ID tag of DH's he likes to wear - he puts it on his head, and then he starts playing his "air guitar." He puts one hand up to the side and takes his other hand and strokes up and down on his belly. He gets a huge grin if I say "air guitar" while he is playing. We're working on making guitar noises next. He also started singing again tonight - I love hearing his little voice starting songs now.
Around 6, I put on an episode of Sesame Street for Micah. He was so excited that he grinned, clapped, and started dancing. After Sesame Street, Micah found a baby doll that our friends Amy and Sam had brought him a few weeks ago. He was holding it, kissing it, and taking care of it. He then took the diaper off, and next thing I saw, he had a pair of Maya's socks and he was trying to put socks on the baby (my mother would be so proud!). I helped him with the socks (and shoes, too), and then Micah was finished with the doll. After he was done, I searched the room for the baby doll's diaper. I searched and searched and could not find it. I looked in all the areas where Micah was playing, and then an idea popped into my head...I looked inside the diaper pail, and lo and behold...Micah had thrown the baby's diaper in the diaper pail! We were hysterical. He already does a better job of cleaning than his father!
Maya happily played on the playmat for a bit, and then nursed and snuggled. Mom called at 8:30 pm to say she was still awake and had gotten her pills. I wished her a good night, and she had a chance to talk a bit with Micah before bed. Just before DH took Micah up to bed, I glanced over and noticed that he was sitting with his arm around Maya, she was sitting up, and they were both staring at the tv. I was amazed...she is starting to look less and less like a baby every day. I think in another blink, she is going to be off and moving on her own.
My mom called again at 5:00 am, shortly after I started blogging. She said she did not sleep much (of course, she had been in bed since 4:00 pm) and was getting ready for the day. I think she has not been sleeping as well since she got an aide, so we do need to think about how that is affecting her sleep.
It is days like today when I start to think...or hope...that it will all be okay again. My mother is looking so good that it is hard not to jump there. And then I remember. I want so badly to hold on to this time together. But every time we celebrate an event, I can't help but wonder if it will be the last time we are all together to celebrate. I hope that I am wondering the same thing again next year on my mother's birthday...and the year after that, too. I guess I'm still hoping for that miracle and trying to be thankful for the time we have left together. But if I could freeze time for a while, I think I would.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Happy 65th
Today was my mother's 65th birthday!! Happy Birthday, Mom!! I love you more than I could possibly express, and I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this on your birthday.
It was a good day, despite a few inconveniences. After DH spent half the night on the phone with the phone company trying to get our phone fixed, he finally worked out a temporary fix so that if my mother called, I could answer the phone. I have to say, that was my greatest worry - my mother gets so upset when she cannot reach us, and I certainly did not want to cause her one moment of distress through their idiocy.
My phone rang a little after 8 this morning, and it was my mom telling me that she had a good night. Ever since she started wearing her new talking watch, she has been much more oriented as to the day/time. I'm so glad that worked out!
The kids woke up shortly after Mom's call, and the day began. It was our usual routine...breakfast for the kids, waiting for the babysitter, etc. While the babysitter entertained Micah, I started to sort and fold laundry and DH fought with the phone company about fixing our phone line (in short, someone ordered that our line be switched from a regular landline to their internet service, which caused us to lose service). There is a huge mountain of clothing to sort and fold right now thanks to all the hand-me-downs we have for the kids. I still have to get to all of my clothing, too!
We received a flower delivery for mom from my mom's friends - we'll be surprising her with the flowers tomorrow at her birthday party (we'll use them as the centerpiece at lunch). While I was folding laundry, I got another call from my mother - despite EVERYTHING, they were AGAIN refusing to let her use the commode. I was furious, and I called up the nurse coordinator for the floor and yelled. About 15 minutes later, my mother called back - she wanted me to know that she was sitting on the commode. I started to laugh - how many people are actually excited to receive a phone call from their mother about sitting on the commode? I'll suffice it to say that Mom's commode adventure was a success, and as a result, she was pain-free all day today.
Actually, they had Mom on the commode a second time after lunch, too. The first time, they just helped her stand and pivot to get to the commode, but the second time, they used a different type of a mechanical lift called the sit-stand lift. All I know is that last week, when all this began, they had proposed using the sit-stand lift for moving her, and OT determined it was not safe and forbid it. Today, that is the same lift they used...which just makes me angry that they *could* have fixed this issue a week ago!! I guess I will just be thankful we fixed it today.
Maya and I left to meet my parents at 12:30. Mom looked great today and was eager for me to read the blog and hear all of her messages. Today was a bit chaotic - we had three cell phones ringing off the hook with messages from Mom, and she spoke to as many people as she possibly could. All of her friends were calling, and she was so thrilled to be speaking to everyone.
Radiation was relatively on time...but we again had to wait 2 hours for the return transport back to the nursing home! The part that makes me angriest? Transport being late meant that my brother was unable to visit Mom today - sitting and waiting for transport ate up my brother's planned visit time. I am so sick of how inconsiderate this transport company has been. We have a scheduled pick-up time, and there is just no reason they cannot arrive within 20 minutes of that time.
After 1 1/2 hours, I decided it was enough, and I started to call the transport company every few minutes. I spoke to a supervisor, and I told them that all of this was unacceptable. We will not be waiting for transport for hours anymore. We are supposed to have a standing arrangement, and for the last week or so, they have not been doing a good job of getting back on time to pick Mom up from the hospital. I will have my father call the transport earlier, and we will make THEM sit and wait for US if necessary. If they fail to show up within 20 minutes, I will be on the phone making their lives miserable - I've decided to become that customer that they appease to avoid. Being nice and understanding isn't working for us, so it is time for a new approach.
After transport arrived, we finally got back to the nursing home a little after 5. We were sorry to hear that we missed a visit from my sister-in-law's sister-in-law. She works next door and stopped by to drop off a balloon and a brownie for my mother. She was so touched, loved the brownie, and wishes she had a chance to see and thank you in person. We also learned that we had another flower delivery, too. It took us about an hour to hunt the flowers down, but we did, and they were beautiful!
When we got back to my mother's room, her aide, Krystal, was there waiting. She was a wonderful help - she quickly got Mom back into bed, changed, and comfortable. She put away Mom's clothes, and arranged everything. When Mom needed a drink, she went and got one for her. It was so nice for me - I just sat down and nursed the baby (well, I hunted down the flowers, too), but I was far less frazzled than normal.
My father left (and after a bit of head-butting, I finally convinced him to drive home via the back roads because a traffic accident had closed down the major highway route he usually takes), and I stayed behind for a while longer with Krystal. I showed her where the fresh fruit was located (and the ice cream). Krystal got Mom's dinner tray and set it up for her (because we were so late coming back from the hospital, we did not end up getting Mom any special dinner from a restaurant). I showed her how we cue Mom to find her food. Mom topped off her dinner with fresh honeydew and Breyer's Chocolate Ice Cream. I should have lit a candle for Mom and sung happy birthday...but she attacks that ice cream far too quickly! I started to help Mom fill out her menus, but ended up leaving those for Krystal to finish with her.
After dinner, Mom started to work on some of her speech and vision therapy exercises - a word search! She was initially finding it frustrating because she could not find the words. She said she felt stupid, and I told her the problem was the vision, not her brain. I watched what she was doing, and I realized that she was only looking at the right 4 rows of the word search, and that is why she was having such a hard time. So, I slowed her down, and started her off by helping her find the left side of the puzzle. I found that I needed to verbally coax her to the end of every row, and realized that was not effective. So I then took her cell phone and placed it to the left of the word search, and told her to keep searching across each row until she saw her phone. That helped enormously, and my mother started to find her words! I then remembered a tip that the occupational therapist had given us, and I dug out a blue highlighter from my purse. I drew a blue line down the left side of the paper, and told my mom she needed to search across each row until she saw the blue line. That really made a huge difference! I think I need to start to carry a highlighter around all the time to help my mother with reading (and possibly some other device my mom can use with books, too). She is getting much better at scanning, and is learning how to better cope with the vision loss.
I ended up leaving while my mom was working on the word search. Krystal was helping her out, and she took care of setting my mother up for the night. It was kind of a relief for me not to worry about whether I forgot something.
Maya screamed the entire ride home tonight - I guess my timing was off, because lately she has been napping for about half of the trip. I arrived home around 7:20, and Micah and DH were still at services. I made a few phone calls and nursed Maya again. When they arrived home, I got a little quality time with Micah before we put him to bed. My mom called around 8:45 to tell me that they had given her the steroids. I was upset because it was the wrong time...but I did wonder if they had forgotten to give mom her afternoon dosage. I called my father and he checked with the nurse to figure out why they were giving her the meds at 8:30. They did forget to give her afternoon medications. I felt terrible that we did not remind the nurses, but again, THEIR system should be making sure this doesn't happen! What about patients that do not have family members around?
DH baked cupcakes tonight for my mother's birthday (I'll be decorating them before we leave). We decided to go with cupcakes because they are easier to transport and eat and less likely to invoke a cutting fee from the restaurant. I had wanted to experiment with a new cupcake recipe, but we did not have time to get to the store to pick up some of the different ingredients, so we went with our old "standby" recipe. I also have been wanting to try out my great aunt's icing, but I'm not sure I'll be able to do that this time. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, and I hope we have a great party.
It was a good day, despite a few inconveniences. After DH spent half the night on the phone with the phone company trying to get our phone fixed, he finally worked out a temporary fix so that if my mother called, I could answer the phone. I have to say, that was my greatest worry - my mother gets so upset when she cannot reach us, and I certainly did not want to cause her one moment of distress through their idiocy.
My phone rang a little after 8 this morning, and it was my mom telling me that she had a good night. Ever since she started wearing her new talking watch, she has been much more oriented as to the day/time. I'm so glad that worked out!
The kids woke up shortly after Mom's call, and the day began. It was our usual routine...breakfast for the kids, waiting for the babysitter, etc. While the babysitter entertained Micah, I started to sort and fold laundry and DH fought with the phone company about fixing our phone line (in short, someone ordered that our line be switched from a regular landline to their internet service, which caused us to lose service). There is a huge mountain of clothing to sort and fold right now thanks to all the hand-me-downs we have for the kids. I still have to get to all of my clothing, too!
We received a flower delivery for mom from my mom's friends - we'll be surprising her with the flowers tomorrow at her birthday party (we'll use them as the centerpiece at lunch). While I was folding laundry, I got another call from my mother - despite EVERYTHING, they were AGAIN refusing to let her use the commode. I was furious, and I called up the nurse coordinator for the floor and yelled. About 15 minutes later, my mother called back - she wanted me to know that she was sitting on the commode. I started to laugh - how many people are actually excited to receive a phone call from their mother about sitting on the commode? I'll suffice it to say that Mom's commode adventure was a success, and as a result, she was pain-free all day today.
Actually, they had Mom on the commode a second time after lunch, too. The first time, they just helped her stand and pivot to get to the commode, but the second time, they used a different type of a mechanical lift called the sit-stand lift. All I know is that last week, when all this began, they had proposed using the sit-stand lift for moving her, and OT determined it was not safe and forbid it. Today, that is the same lift they used...which just makes me angry that they *could* have fixed this issue a week ago!! I guess I will just be thankful we fixed it today.
Maya and I left to meet my parents at 12:30. Mom looked great today and was eager for me to read the blog and hear all of her messages. Today was a bit chaotic - we had three cell phones ringing off the hook with messages from Mom, and she spoke to as many people as she possibly could. All of her friends were calling, and she was so thrilled to be speaking to everyone.
Radiation was relatively on time...but we again had to wait 2 hours for the return transport back to the nursing home! The part that makes me angriest? Transport being late meant that my brother was unable to visit Mom today - sitting and waiting for transport ate up my brother's planned visit time. I am so sick of how inconsiderate this transport company has been. We have a scheduled pick-up time, and there is just no reason they cannot arrive within 20 minutes of that time.
After 1 1/2 hours, I decided it was enough, and I started to call the transport company every few minutes. I spoke to a supervisor, and I told them that all of this was unacceptable. We will not be waiting for transport for hours anymore. We are supposed to have a standing arrangement, and for the last week or so, they have not been doing a good job of getting back on time to pick Mom up from the hospital. I will have my father call the transport earlier, and we will make THEM sit and wait for US if necessary. If they fail to show up within 20 minutes, I will be on the phone making their lives miserable - I've decided to become that customer that they appease to avoid. Being nice and understanding isn't working for us, so it is time for a new approach.
After transport arrived, we finally got back to the nursing home a little after 5. We were sorry to hear that we missed a visit from my sister-in-law's sister-in-law. She works next door and stopped by to drop off a balloon and a brownie for my mother. She was so touched, loved the brownie, and wishes she had a chance to see and thank you in person. We also learned that we had another flower delivery, too. It took us about an hour to hunt the flowers down, but we did, and they were beautiful!
When we got back to my mother's room, her aide, Krystal, was there waiting. She was a wonderful help - she quickly got Mom back into bed, changed, and comfortable. She put away Mom's clothes, and arranged everything. When Mom needed a drink, she went and got one for her. It was so nice for me - I just sat down and nursed the baby (well, I hunted down the flowers, too), but I was far less frazzled than normal.
My father left (and after a bit of head-butting, I finally convinced him to drive home via the back roads because a traffic accident had closed down the major highway route he usually takes), and I stayed behind for a while longer with Krystal. I showed her where the fresh fruit was located (and the ice cream). Krystal got Mom's dinner tray and set it up for her (because we were so late coming back from the hospital, we did not end up getting Mom any special dinner from a restaurant). I showed her how we cue Mom to find her food. Mom topped off her dinner with fresh honeydew and Breyer's Chocolate Ice Cream. I should have lit a candle for Mom and sung happy birthday...but she attacks that ice cream far too quickly! I started to help Mom fill out her menus, but ended up leaving those for Krystal to finish with her.
After dinner, Mom started to work on some of her speech and vision therapy exercises - a word search! She was initially finding it frustrating because she could not find the words. She said she felt stupid, and I told her the problem was the vision, not her brain. I watched what she was doing, and I realized that she was only looking at the right 4 rows of the word search, and that is why she was having such a hard time. So, I slowed her down, and started her off by helping her find the left side of the puzzle. I found that I needed to verbally coax her to the end of every row, and realized that was not effective. So I then took her cell phone and placed it to the left of the word search, and told her to keep searching across each row until she saw her phone. That helped enormously, and my mother started to find her words! I then remembered a tip that the occupational therapist had given us, and I dug out a blue highlighter from my purse. I drew a blue line down the left side of the paper, and told my mom she needed to search across each row until she saw the blue line. That really made a huge difference! I think I need to start to carry a highlighter around all the time to help my mother with reading (and possibly some other device my mom can use with books, too). She is getting much better at scanning, and is learning how to better cope with the vision loss.
I ended up leaving while my mom was working on the word search. Krystal was helping her out, and she took care of setting my mother up for the night. It was kind of a relief for me not to worry about whether I forgot something.
Maya screamed the entire ride home tonight - I guess my timing was off, because lately she has been napping for about half of the trip. I arrived home around 7:20, and Micah and DH were still at services. I made a few phone calls and nursed Maya again. When they arrived home, I got a little quality time with Micah before we put him to bed. My mom called around 8:45 to tell me that they had given her the steroids. I was upset because it was the wrong time...but I did wonder if they had forgotten to give mom her afternoon dosage. I called my father and he checked with the nurse to figure out why they were giving her the meds at 8:30. They did forget to give her afternoon medications. I felt terrible that we did not remind the nurses, but again, THEIR system should be making sure this doesn't happen! What about patients that do not have family members around?
DH baked cupcakes tonight for my mother's birthday (I'll be decorating them before we leave). We decided to go with cupcakes because they are easier to transport and eat and less likely to invoke a cutting fee from the restaurant. I had wanted to experiment with a new cupcake recipe, but we did not have time to get to the store to pick up some of the different ingredients, so we went with our old "standby" recipe. I also have been wanting to try out my great aunt's icing, but I'm not sure I'll be able to do that this time. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, and I hope we have a great party.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Message from Mom
I'm thrilled and touched by all the birthday calls and wishes I received today. So far, it has been a good day. Pain-free, no intestinal issues. I enjoyed lunch with my girls - they brought me a cupcake and it was delish! They picked up a chicken salad sandwich from Panera (courtesy of the library) and a chocolate croissant. What more could I ask for (whispered "Breyers Chocolate Ice Cream").
I got bunny hugs and delicious kisses from Paige and Peyton and birthday wishes. I am going out tomorrow for lunch. Looking forward to seeing everyone and I hope I have the strength and won't disappoint anyone with my performance.
I am nervous about moving. I think that is not unusual. I'm nervous about establish new routines, etc., but I'm also looking forward to it. I have a new aide staying with me from 7-7, and I feel more secure about that. Hopefully, they are finally getting the commode issue straightened out. My day is much shorter and sweeter if it is pain-free, and that is best I can ask for. I will be satisfied with that for now.
I've been standing by myself in PT for over 7 minutes. I'd like to tackle stairs next.
I got bunny hugs and delicious kisses from Paige and Peyton and birthday wishes. I am going out tomorrow for lunch. Looking forward to seeing everyone and I hope I have the strength and won't disappoint anyone with my performance.
I am nervous about moving. I think that is not unusual. I'm nervous about establish new routines, etc., but I'm also looking forward to it. I have a new aide staying with me from 7-7, and I feel more secure about that. Hopefully, they are finally getting the commode issue straightened out. My day is much shorter and sweeter if it is pain-free, and that is best I can ask for. I will be satisfied with that for now.
I've been standing by myself in PT for over 7 minutes. I'd like to tackle stairs next.
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